PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

October 28, 2004

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Ya, ‘s iss waahr. In seim Buch Boonastiel kann mer en mannichi Waahret im Gschpass lese. Awwer in sellem Buch hot der Thomas H. Harter (1854-1933) aa en mannichi Waahret im Aernscht gschriwwe. Do sin en paar Gedanke aus seim Buch:

   “Ball kummt die Zeit ass die Ballidescheners rumkumme un saage ass des Gaverment zum Deihenker gingt wann du net fer so-un-so en Mann schtimme duscht.”

   “Wann en Mann emol aafangt Patriotism bloose, dann guck aus; er will Zende in sei eegener Sack bloose.”

   “Wie viel vun unsere groose Kalls denkscht du ass ihre eegeni Indresse fahrelosse duhne fer der Sake vun ihrem Land? Sie sin so raahr ass Schpeck in me Hunsschtall.”

   “Ee Paerdi heest die anneri Dieb yuscht weil sie net ihre eegene hend in Uncle Sam sei Hossesack friege kennne.”

   “Der Mensch iss en arremi Greadur, un drum saag ich, wann mer en Success sei will in Balledix muss mer sich allegebott verkaffe so ass mer als wider kaafe kann.”

   Nau, liewe Leser, wu denkt ihr wie die groose Kalls in Balledix rumfaahre? Uff die Balledix-Fuhr, nadierlich! Lest mol weider.

   “Sell iss die gans Balledix Bisness – en Fuhr. Die Leit sin die Geil, die fedde Affisses sin der Wagge, die Baases sin die Fuhrleit, un Hungersnot iss de Geeschel. Die Leit schleefe der Wagge darrich Dreck un Schnee, Winder un Summer, un die Baases wu die Affisses halde, hocke owwedruff mit Schtitzehiet uff de Kepp un Kitthensching an die Hend. Un was sie die aarremme Geil doch dauere! Alle vier Yaahr schteppe sie vum Wagge un duhne de Leit die Axel schtreichle un saage wie schtandhaft ass sie gschafft hen fer der Wagge darrich der Taxdreck schleefe, duhne ihne der weh Blatz unnich em Kummet schmiere mit Verschpreche, un saage ihne wie arrick ass sie sie dauere weil der Wagge so schwer iss un der Taxdreck so dief. Dennoh moschene sie zu ihre Friend, wu vorderhand net gfaahre sin, fer aa druffgraddle un mitfaahre. Des macht die Lood als schwere, awwer was macht’s aus – die Geil misse die Lood ennihau ziege. Wann dennoh die Geil als wider recht uffgemescht sin (uff deierer hawwer) dann cracked die Whip un der Affisswagge schtaert widder fer en vier-Yaahr Trip. Hiwwel nuff un hiwwel nunnery, Daag un Nacht, Sunneschei odder Regge – nix ass ziege, ziege, ziege. Even der Hawwer wu die Geil notwennich breichde watt oftmols vun ihne genumme, un was net gschtohle watt hegt naus in appropriations zu pet schemes.”

   Ya, ich glaab mer hen yuscht Gedanke gelese ass der Buhneschtiehl net “Waahret im Gschpass” nenne deet!

Macht’s gut,
Der Alt Professer

Dear people:

   Yes, it is true. In his book entitled Boonsastiel we can read many a truth in jest. But in that book Thomas J. Harter (1854-1933) also wrote many a truth in earnest. Here are a few thoughts from his book, the 1904 edition.

   “Soon comes the time that the politicians come around and say that the government will go to the devil if you don’t vote for such-and-such a man.”

   “When a man once starts to blow (e.g. brag about) patriotism, then look out; he wants to blow (this time without the sense of “brag”) money in his own pockets.”

   “How many of our important people do you think let their own interests go for the sake of their country? They are as rare as bacon in a doghouse.”

   “One party calls the other party thieves just because they can’t get their won hands into Uncle Sam’s pants pocket.”

   “People are poor creatures, an therefore I say that if you want to be a success in politics, then you have to sell yourself every once in a while so that you can buy something again.”

   Now, dear readers, how do you think that the big-wigs in politics get around? On the politics wagon, naturally! Just read on.

   “That’s the whole politics business – a wagon. The people are the horses, the fat offices are the wagon, the bosses are the drivers, and hunger is the whip. The people drag the wagon through dirt and snow, winter and summer, and the bosses who hold the offices sit up on top with stovepipe/top hats on their heads and kid gloves on their hands. And how they pity the horses! Every four years they step down from the wagon and stroke the people’s shoulders and tell them how steadfastly that they worked to drag the wagon through the tax-dirt, rub the sore spot under the horse collar with promises, and tell them how terribly they pity them because the wagon is so heavy and the tax-dirt is so deep. Then they motion to their friends, who never rode on the wagon beforehand, to climb on also and ride along. That makes the load heavier and heavier, but what does it matter – the horses have to pull the load anyhow. Then when the horses are again fattened up (with costly oats) then the whip cracks and the office wagon starts again for a four-year trip. Hill up and hill down, day and night, sunshine or rain – nothing but pull, pull, pull. Even the oats that the horses are in need of are often taken from them, and whatever isn’t stolen goes out in appropriations for pet schemes.”

   Yes, I believe we have just read thoughts that Boonastiel would not call “truth in jest.”

Take care,
The Old Professor

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