PA German Dialect

Watt Der Schtoffel Beisse? /
Will Stoph Bite?

August 5, 1999

Ihr liewe Leit: 
Letscht Woch hen mer gelese ass Gold Leit in
Aerre locke kann, un ass die Leit ass Gold begehre
wisse sette ass Verfiehring immer dehinner
schteckt. Der Eli Keller (1825-1919) hot sell gut
gewisst, wie mer lese kann in seim Gschicht "Wie
der Schtoffel sei Geld Verlore hot." Heit fange mer
die Schtori aa.

Hinne am Bloohe Barrig, wu die Hasch un die
Haase Gutnacht saage, hen fullzich Yaahr zerrick
der Schtoffel (Beinaame fer Chrisstoph) un sei
Molly uff ihre groosse Bauerei glicklich beinanner
gelebt. Der Schtoffel hot die alt Heemet vun seim
Vadder geaerbt, un weil er fleissich un schpaar-
sam waar, un die Molly aa so, hen sie alles schee
un gut uffgeduh.

Der Schtack, vun de Geil bis nunner zu de Hink-
el, waar vun beschde. 'S Land iss gut gschafft
warre, un hot viel un gudi Frucht gebrocht. An
allerlee Obscht waar ken Mangel. Vun Schulde hot
der Schtoffel yaahrelang nix gewisst, un hot noch
alle Yaahr en schee Simmche in die Benk gedraage.

Uffem Schtoffel seim Land, net weit vun der
Scheier, waar en gudi groossi Schpring, un um die
Schpring rum viel un allerlee Schaddebeem. Der
gans Schtack, besonders im Summer, waar gaun im
kiehle Schadde um die Schpring. Am neemliche
Blatz hot sich aa en Drupp Zigeiner alle Summer
gege Schpotyaahr eigschtellt. Die Menner hen Geil
ghandelt; die Weiwer hen ihre schmutziche Gleed-
er datt gewesche.

Unner de Weiwer waar eeni wu sich uffs
Waahrsaage gelegt hot, un hot's so gut verschtanne
wie die Bescht. Ihre gleene schwatze Schlangeaage
hot sie net fer nix ghatt! Hot sie en Handel geglennst
wie die schennschde Schwatzkasche.

Selli Hex hot ihre Aage uff der Schtoffel gericht
un en Plaan ausgeschtudiert mit ihm "Bisness" zu
duh. Awwer denkt sie, "Mer muss wisse wie mer
mit ihm umgeht." Sie schleicht um ihm rum bei
yeder Gelegenheit un lobt ihm sei Geil un Kieh un
Schoof un so weider. Der Schtoffel schmunselt.

Dann lobt sie dei Reichdum iwweraus, un der
Schtoffel schmunselt middem ganse Gsicht.
Dann secht sie (halwer gepischert, wie wann
nimmand's heere sott), "Schtoffel, wann du awwer
wisscht was ich weess, du waerescht der reichscht
un der glicklichscht Mann in der Kaundi." Sie
guckt ihn widder aa, un er waar verschrocke.

Sell, denkt sie, iss genuck eigewwe fer eemol---
ich glaab die Doos schafft!

Watt der Schtoffel "beisse"? Mer mache 
neeggscht Woch weider.

Macht's gut, 

Der Alt Professer

Dear people:
Last week we read that gold can lure people into
confusion, and that people who desire gold should
know that seduction always lies behind it. Eli Kell-
er (1825-1919) know that well, as one can read in
his story, "How Stoph Lost His Money." Today we
begin the story.

In back of Blue Mountain, where the deer and
the rabbits say good night to each other, lived, 50
years ago, Stoph (nickname for Christopher) and his
Molly on their big farm, happily together. Stoph had
inherited the old homestead from his father, and
because he was diligent and saving, and Molly
equally so, they did everything up nicely and well.



The stock, from the horses down to the chick-
ens, was of the best. The land was worked well and
brought much and good grain. There was no lack of
all kinds of druit. Of debts Stoph had known nothing
for years, and even carried every year a nice little
sum to the bank.

On Stoph's land, not far from the barn, was a
good large spring, and around the spring many and
all kinds of shade trees. All of the stock, especially
in summer, used to like to be around the spring in
the cool shade. At the same place a troop of gypsies
showed up every summer towards autumn. The 
men sold horses, the women washed their dirty
clothes there.

Among the women was one who had taken to
soothsaying (telling fortunes), and understood it as
well as the best. Her little black snake-eyes she
didn't have for nothing! If she saw business from
afar, her eyes already shone like the most beautiful
black cherries. 

That witch turned her eyes toward Stoph, and
studied out a plan to do "business" with him. But,
she thinks, "One has to know how to deal with
him." She sneaks around him at every opportunity
and praises his horses and cows and sheep and so
forth. Stoph smiles. Then she praises his riches
above all, and Stoph smiles with his whole face.

Then she says (half whispering, as if no one is
supposed to hear it), "Stoph, if you knew what I
know, you would be the richest and the happiest
man in the county." She looks at him again, and he
was scared.

That, she thinks, is enough administered for one
time---I think that dose will work! 

Will Stoph "bite?" We will continue next week.

Take care,

The Old Professor

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