Ihr liewe Leit:
Un nau en Froog fer allihre liewe Leser wu den Summer Gaarde
gegraawe hen: wie kummt ihr Gaardesach aa? Net so gut? Kennt’s sei ass ihr ken
Kallenner hen? odder villeicht net zum Mond nuffgeguckt?
Mer losse mol der Lloyd A. Moll (1879-1944) des alles auslege. Kumm
un les mol aus seim Buch Am Schwtze Baer:
Der Rich Beisel kummt der anner Owet in die Barschtubb am Schwatze
Baer un waar mechtich verzannt iwwer sei aldi Mammi.
Der Hi froogt ihn, “Was der Schinner hot dich gebisse, dass du so
gretzich bischt?”
“Ach,” saagt er, “mei mammi hot mich Gaarde graawe mache den Owet.
Ich waar mied wie’n Hund wie ich heemkumme bin vun der Aerwet, awwer sie losst
mer ken Ruh, bis ich en grooss Schtick rumgegraawe hab. Sie will Buhne un
Aerbse nei blanse. Alle Dischbediere mitt re hot nix gebatt. Ich saag re’s iss
um unnerschtehende Mond un sie grtickt ken Kochet aussem ganse Schtick wann
sie im Unnerschtehende blanst, awwer sie willmer’s net glaawe. Sie hot
druffgschtanne ‘s waer im Ewwerschtehende. Ich kann sie aa yuscht net vum
Schlauder griege. Noh gehn ich ins Haus un hol der Kallenner un hab’s re
gewisse.
“Sie sagt, ‘Was fer en Kallener iss dann des?’
“’Ei, der Lengeschder,’ hawwich gsaat.
“’Datt gehscht ins Haus un holscht mer der Reading, sellis mei Kallenner.’
“Noh binnich gange – un was denkscht: ‘s waar der letschtyaahrich!”
“’Leeder Gott!’ hot sie gsaat, ‘was hawwich dann gemacht? All mei Sache des
gans Frichyaahr an der letze Zeit geblanst. Wann hemmer die Grumbiere geblanst?’
‘”Ei, ich bin schuur dass es in der Woog waar.’
‘”Well, sell iss doch gut. Mer hen letscht Yaahr yuscht so gleene grickt. ‘S
hot geregert in der Woog un do sette mere des Yaahr scheene, schwere griege.”
“Es hot mich gaar hesslich verzannt iwwer sie. Mer hette noch en gansi Woch
Zeit ghatt fer’s Grumbiereschtick rumgraawe,un die Buhne un Aerbse nauszumache,
awwer do hawwich mich abschinne misse yuscht weil sie der letz Kallenner hot.”
Der Al Schtettler fangt aa u lache dass ihm der Leib schittelt. Er
saagt, “Do duhne ihr eier Grumbiere in der Woog blanse? Ich blans meini in der
Grund!”
Des hot awwer der Rich verzannt. “Du unglaawicher Esel – ich kann
dir beweise das die Zeecher un der Mond viel middem Blanse zu duh hen!”
Neegscht Woch kennt ihr liewe Gaerdler ebbes lanne!
Macht’s gut,
Der Alt Professer
|
Dear people:
And now a question for all you dear readers who dug gardens this
summer: how are your vegetables coming along? Not so good? Could it be that
you don’t have an almanac? or perhaps you don’t look up at the moon?
Let’s let Lloyd A. Moll (1879-1944) explain all of that. Come and
read once form his book At the Sign of the Black Bear:
Rich Beisel comes the other evening into the bar room at the
Black Bear and was mightily angry at his old mommy.
Hi asks him, “What the devil bit you, that you are so crabby?”
“Oh,” he says, “my mom made me did in the garden this evening. I
was as tired as a dog when I came home from work, but she wouldn’t leave
me alone until I dug up a large piece. She wants to plant beans and peas.
All my arguing with her didn’t help at all. I tell her it is the time when
the horns of the moon are down, and she won’t get a single serving from
the whole patch if she plants when the horns are down, but she doesn’t
want to believe me. She was adamant that the horns were up. I just
couldn’t get her away from that same on story. Then I go into the house
and get the almanac and show it to her.
“She says, ‘What kind of almanac is that?’
“Well, the Lancaster,’ I said.
“Then go into to the house and get me the Reading, that is my almanac.’
“So I went – and what do you think: it was last year’s!”
“’Dear God!’ she said, ‘what have I done? All my stuff this whole
spring I planted at the wrong time. When did we plant the potatoes?’
“’Oh, I am sure it was in Libra.’
‘”Well, that’s good. Last year we got just little ones. It rained
during Libra and we should this year get nice heavy ones.’
“I was very terribly angry at her. We would have had still an entire
week’s time to dig up the potato patch, and put in the beans and peas, but
I had to overwork myself just because she has a wrong almanac.”
Al Schtetler begins to laugh so hard that his belly
shakes. He says, “You plant your potatoes in the scale (play on words with
Libra)? I plant mine in the ground!”
That made Rich terribly angry. “You disbelieving ass – I can show
you that the signs of the Zodiac and the moon have a lot to do with
planting!”
Next week you dear gardeners can learn something!
Take care,
The Old Professor |
