PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

5-15-03

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Es scheint ass ihr liewe Leser em Mark Trumbore sei Schtori zimmlich gut geglichehen. Do sin noch drei katze:

   Yaahr zerick waar's ewwe der Gebrauch ass Sunndaags ebber der Parre mit heemnnemmt fer's Middaagesse. Daer Sunndaag hot en gewissi Familye ihn eigelaade.


   Wie's an der Disch gange iss, waare der Parre un en elfyeehrich Bu uff der eent Seit, un die Eldre an der anner. Dem Yunge sei Memm hot en gut Esse eigerischt ghadde, awwer ee Ding waar em Parre enwennich unleidlich; die Katz hot sich die gans Zeit hie un haer gschtrichelt an seine Bee.

   Do dreht der Parre sich zum Yunge un saagt, "Ei, ihr het awwer en schmeechlichi Katz."

   Der Yung guckt der Parre wennich batzich aa un saagt, "Ich glaab des net. Du esscht aus der Katz ihre Schissel!"

   Der Harry waar gerieteiert, un wie es ewwe iss mit so Leit, hot er aardlich Zeit uff seine Hand ghatt. Fer sei Zeit verdreiwe, iss er als in de Aellis rumgedappt, Gaarde unnersuche un mit de Nochbere blaudre.

   En Daag sehnt er die Saelli am Schaffe in ihrm Gaarde. "Du hoscht nau en wunnerbaar scheener Gaarde," lobt der Harry.

   "Ya," antwatt die Saelli, "un alles waer gans gut wann's net waer fer die verdeiwelde gleene Haase. Sie sin mer so schlimm hinnich der Arrebse."

   "Des sin ken Haase," behaabt der Harry, "des sin die Veggel."

   "Nee," saagt die Saelli, un schiddelt ihr Kopp. "Des waare ken Veggel. Des waare em Franz Haas sei ungebetzde Yunge!"

   In re gewisse Landschul hen die Leit un neier Schulmeeschder vun Lengeschder gedingt. Der Schulmeeschder hot gewisst ass wann er Baas sei wott in der Schulschtubb, misst er en guder Eidruck uff die Yunge mache.

   Es hot net lang gedauert, der aerscht Daag in der Schul, bis en Geleegeheet sich gewisse hot fer die Ynge in Roi zu schtelle. Er hot Acht ghatt als eens vun der Buwe der Rotzer hot un ass der Yung sei Naas als abgebutz hot uff sei Hemmarremel. Er hot gemeent des waer nau en gudi Gelegeheet fer die Yunge weise ass er so'n schmutzichi Aagewehnet net erlaawe deet in seinre Schul.

   Er deidt mit seim Finger an dem Yunge sei Rotzverschmierde Hemmarremel un froogt in re beese Schtimm, "Was heesst mer dann so ebbes?"

   Der Bu, schliwwerich un aa net leicht verscheecht, beguckt der Schulmeeschder batzich aa un saagt langsaam, "Was? Du bischt en Schulmeeschder vun Lengeschder un weescht net was Rotz iss!?"

Macht's gut,
Der Alt Professer

Dear people:

   It seems that you dear readers liked Mark Trumbore's story quite well. Here are three more short ones:

   Years ago it was the custom that someone take the pastor home on Sundays for dinner (the English usually say "lunch"). This Sunday a certain family invited him.

   As they sat down at the table, the pastor and an 11 year old boy were on the one side and the parents on the other. The youngster's mother had made a good meal, but one thing was a bit disagreeable/unbearable for the pastor: the cat rubbed back and forth the whole time on his legs.

   The pastor turns to the boy and says, "Ei, but you have a caressing/fawning cat."

   The boy looks at the pastor a bit impertinently and says, "I don't believe so. You're eating out of the cat's bowl!"

   Harry was retired, and as it happens to be with such people, he had a lot of time on his hands. To pass the time, he used to tramp around in the alleys, examining the gardens and gabbing with the neighbors.

   One day he sees Sally working in her garden. "You have now a wonderfully beautiful garden." Harry says in praise.

   "Yes," answers Sally, "and everything would be very good if it were not for the Rabbitts. They get my peas so badly."

   "Those aren't rabbits," avers Harry, "those are birds."

   "No," says Sally, and shakes her head. Those were not birds. "Those were Frank Rabbitt's unmannerly boys!"

   In a particularly country school the people had hired a new school master form Lancaster. The school master knew that if he wanted to be the boss in the schoolroom, he would have to make a good impression on the youngsters.

   It didn't take long, that first day in school, for the opportunity to present itself to get the kids in line. He noticed that one of the boys had a head cold (i.e. a snotty nose) and that the boy kept wiping off his nose on his shirt sleeve. He (the teacher) thought that would be now a good opportunity to show the youngsters that he could not allow such a dirty habit in his school.

   He points at the boy's snot-smeared shirt sleeve and asks in an angry voice, "What do you call something like that?"

   The boy, rascally and not easily frightened, looks at the school master in an impertinent manner and says slowly, "What? You are a school master from Lancaster and you don't know what snot is!?"

Take Care,
The Old Professor

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updated 3-15-2007 paf