PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

4-27-00

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Darrich die Yaahre ass der alt Professer sei Kallem gschriwwe hot, hen dann un wann Leit mir gsaat odder gschriwwe ass sie des odder sell Kallem abbaddich gut geliche hen. Ee Kallem ass viel Leit vielmols driwwer gschwetzt hen iss en Kallem fer der Muddersdaag, un es kennt sei ass ich es noch ee Mol im Moi geb.

   Awwer viel Leit hen mir aa gsaat ass sie deede mol widder die Gschicht vum Soldaat un sei Pack Kaarde gaern lese. Es waar's aerscht Mol vum Raymond E. Kiebach nunnergschriwwe warre.

   Es scheint ass en Soldaat in en Schteddel kummt graad wie die Karrichbell aafangt ringe. Er geht in die Karrich, hot awwer ken Biewel un ken Gebetbuch. Er legt sei Kugelbix hie un nemmt en Pack Kaarde aus seim Schnapp-pack, legt die Kaarde uff die Bank un beguckt sie. Der Kunschdaawler sehnt des; dutt en reschde, un fiehrt ihn vor der Gschgweier. Nau verzehlt Kiebach weider:

   "Fer was hoscht du mir der Soldaat do hergebrocht?" froogt der Gschgweier em Kunschdaawler.

   "Er hot in der Karrich gsotze un Kaarde gschpielt," saagt der Kunschdaawler.

   "Well, Soldaat, was hoscht du zu saage fer dich selwer?"

   "Zimmlich viel, sett ich denke."

   "Well, dann schwetz mol druff los."

   "Ich bin," secht der Soldaat, "schunn sex Woche uff em Masch. Middem General Waschington sei Soldaade mach ich mei Weg vun Nei Yarrich darrich die Tschaersi. Hinnich uns kumme die Britischer. Do kumm ich uff paar Meil neegscht an meiner Memm ihrem Haus verbei un geh nei sie busche. Ich bin iwwernacht bei ihrer gebliwwe un muss nau widder mei Weg zu de Soldaade finne. Biewel hawwich kenni un aa ken Gebetbuch. Ich hab yuscht en Pack Kaarde, un nau will ich mit denne Kaarde dich weise ass ich nix letzes geduh hab."

   Er nemmt die Kaarde, legt sie schee ausnanner uff der Disch vor der Gschgwieer un fangt aa mit der Sau. "Wann ich die Sau - der Eender-seh, gemaahnt des mich ass es yuscht ee Gott gebt. Wann ich der Zwedder seh, gemaahnt des mich an Vadder un Soh. Wann ich der Dridder seh, gemaahnt des mich an Vadder, Soh, un Heilicher Geischt.

   "Un wann ich der Vierder seh, gemaahnt's mich an die vier Evangelisten, die em Gott sei Watt gebreddicht hen: Der Matthaeus, der Marcus, der Lukas, un der Yohannes. Do iss der Fimfder. Er gemaahnt mich an die fimf Yungfrauen, die ihre lichter gebutzt hen. Es waare zehe vun ne, fimf gscheider un fimf dumme, awwer die dumme waare ausgschparrt."

   Un neegscht Woch mache mer weider.

Macht's gut,
Der Alt Profess

Dear people:

   Through the years that the Old Professor has been writing his column, now and then people have told me or written me that they especially liked this or that column. One column that many people have often talked about is the column for Mother's Day, and it could be that I will give it yet one more time in May.

   But many people have also told me that they would like to read once again the story of the soldier and his pack of cards. It was written down for the first time by Raymond E. Kiebach.

   It seems that a soldier comes into a town just as the church bell begins to ring. He goes into the church, but has no Bible or prayer book. He lays down his musket and takes a pack of cards out of his knapsack, lays the cards on the bench and looks at them. The constable sees that, arrests him, and takes him before the squire. Now Kiebach continues with the story.

   "Why have you brought this soldier here?" asks the squire of the constable.

   "He was sitting in church and playing cards," says the constable.

   "Well, soldier, what have you got to say for yourself?"

   "Quite a bit, I should think."

   "Well, then start right in."

   "I've been," says the soldier, "already six weeks on the march. With General Washington's soldiers I'm making my way from New York through the Jersies. Behind us are coming the British. After a few miles I come close to my mom's house and go in to visit her. I stayed with her overnight and must now find my way back to the soldiers. I don't have a Bible and also no prayer book. I have only a pack of cards, and now I want to show you with these cards that I have done nothing wrong."

   He takes the cards, separates them nicely on the table before the squire and begins with the ace. "When I see the ace-the one-it reminds me that there is only one God. When I see the two, it reminds me of the Father and Son. When I see the three, it reminds me of the Father the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

   "And when I see the four, I'm reminded of the four Evangelists who preached God's words: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Here are the five. It reminds me of the five virgins who were cleaning their lamps. There were 10 of them, five smart ones and five stupid, but the stupid ones were kept out."

   And next week we will continue.

Take care,
The Old Professor

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updated 3-15-2007 paf