Ihr liewe
Leit:
Tschaae odder net tschaae? Schmoke odder net schmoke? Ya, wie ihr
liewe Leser wisst, gebt's mindeschdens zwee Aasichde. 'S aerscht froge mer mol
der Buhneschtiehl (der Thomas H. Harter, 1854-1933). In seim Schtick 'Geb mer
Duwack" erzeehlt er uns:
"Der anner Daag waar ich drunne ans Hollerhecke in der Baarschtubb
ghockt, un der Meik Blattner hot yuscht en Bluck Neewi Duwack rumgelangt. Uff
kors bei uns Barrick Kalls iss en grosser Bluck Duwack schier soviel aagsehne
ass en Tschicker aus der schwatze Boddel, un weil en Bluck Duwack gans remgeht
un koscht yuscht zeh Sent, iss es allsfatt viel hendicher un watt efder
genumme.
"Endlich hot der Saem Schnitzler aafange schwetze wege gude Sache zu esse.
Er hot erlaabt dass en gudi Mess Ebbeldumplins waer ebaut es bescht Ding in
der Welt. Der Meik Howiss hot dennoh gsaat wann er nochemol en Schtick vun de
alde Satt Lebkuche griege kennt, dann waer er reddi fer en Kantraeckt mache
druff zu lewe.
"Der Saem Schnitzler hot erlaabt en gudi Wassermelloon waer en
Keenichesse. Ich hab sie gehgelosst un hab gtschasat an meim Duwack; hab nix
gsaat awwer hab viel gedenkt. Endlich iss es awwer rum zu mir kumme, un der
Tschaeck Kunraad hot mich aageguckt un hot gsaat: 'Do hockt der Gottlieb un
saagt ken Watt. Was iss dei Pick?"
"Well, Buwe, "hawwich gsaat, 'fer Daag nei un Daag, fer Marrige, Middaag
un Owets, geb mer Duwack!'
"Bulli fer der Buhneschtiehl! Du bischt, bei Gasch, widder recht'
hot der Hollerheck gsaat. "Kummt ruff, all Haends, un nemmt en Tschicker aus
der schwatze Boddel uff mei Greditt!"
Awwer der Kaschbar Hufnagel (der Parre Pierce E. Swope, 1884-1968) hot
nadierlich en zwett Aasicht ghatt. In seim Schtick "Duwack" hot er mol
gschriwwe:
"Ich geb gaar nix drum was annere Leit duhne mit em Duwack. Des baddert
mich gaar net, awwer ich will selwer nix zu duh hawwe mit Duwack. Deel Leit
griege en groossi Blessier aus Duwack, (awwer) Leit ass immer Duwack yuuse
kenne nimmi gut drunner duh. Mer sett sich des net aagewehne, schunnscht
geht's wie em alde Hans. Er hot Duwack gekaut fer siwwezich Yaahr, noh hot er
bums gschtoppt. Sie hen ihn als gfroogt, 'Hans, ferwas kauscht du ken Duwack
meh?' Er hot noh geandwatt, 'Ich hab fer siwwezich Yaahr Duwack gekaut. Noh
hawwich des Ding gschtoppt. Es waar mir bang ich kennt mir des Duwackskaue
aagewehne!"
Macht's gut,
Der Alt Professer
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Dear people:
To chew or not to chew? To smoke or not to smoke? Yes, as you dear
readers know, there are at least two points of view. First of all we'll
ask Boonastiel (Thomas H. Harter, 1854-1933). In his piece entitled "Give
me Tobacco" he relates to us:
"The other day I was down at Hollernecks, sitting in the bar room, and
Mike Blattner had just handed around a plug of Navy Tobacco. Of course,
with us mountain guys a big plug of chewing tobacco is looked up to as
much as a jigger from the black bottle, and because a plug of tobacco goes
all around and costs only 10 cents, it is always much handier and is taken
more often.
"Finally Sam Schnitzler began talking about good things to eat. He
allowed that a good mess of apple dumplings was about the best thing in
the world. Mike Hovice then said that if he could get once more a piece of
that old kind of gingercake, then he would be ready to make a contract to
live off it.
"Sam Schnitzler allowed that a good watermelon was the food of
kings. I just let them go on while I chewed on my tobacco; didn't say
anything, but thought a lot. But finally it got around to me, and Jack
Conrad looked at me and said: "Here sits Gottlieb and says nothing at all.
What is your pick?'
"Well, boys,' I said, 'for day in and day in and day out, for
morning, noon and evening, give me tobacco!'
"Bully for Boonastiel! You are, by gosh, right again' said
Hollerheck. "Come up here, all hands, and take a jigger out of the black
bottle on my credit!"
But Kasbar Hufnagel (Pastor Pierce E. Swope, 1884-1968) naturally had a
second point of view. In his piece 'Tobacco" he once wrote:
"I don't care at all what other people do with tobacco. That
doesn't bother me at all, but I myself don't want anything to do with
tobacco. Some people get a great deal of pleasure out of tobacco, but
people who always use tobacco cannot do well without it any more. One
shouldn't make a habit of it, otherwise it'll go for you as with old Hans.
He chewed tobacco for 70 years, then he abruptly stopped. They used to ask
him, 'Hans, why don't you chew tobacco anymore? Then he answered, "I have
chewed tobacco for 70 years. Then I stopped that nonsense. I was afraid
that I would make a habit of chewing tobacco!"
Take care,
The Old Professor
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