PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

November 24, 2004

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Mer welle heit faddichmache middem Buhneschtiehl seim Schtick fer der Dank(s)daag, odder Beetdaag, odder Danksaagungsdaag.

   Wie er uns letscht Woch gsaat hot, mer sedde net immer bloos nemme, dann iss mer wie en Deich ass yuscht Wasser einemmt awwer nie ken Wasser nauslosst. Dann watt es Wasser grie un schleimich un schtinkich. Nimmmand will neegscht so en Deich sei.

   Awwer wann mer aa gebt, dann iss mer wie en Deich (der Buhneschtiehl hot eegentlich “Barrickwasser” gsaat) wu’s Wasser einemmt awwer aa widder nauslosst. Sell Wasser iss dann immer frisch un voll Fisch.

   Nau mache mer weider:

   Awwer sei’s wie’s will, ich hab mei Gsundheit, un ee Tschicker aus der schwatze Boddel macht mich als so reich fiehle ass der Jay Gould als hot, wu gsaat hot er deet en Millyon Daaler gewwe wann er sei Nirraslschie kuure kennt. Es sin hunnert vun alde Weibsleit do am Barrig ass meene sie hette ihn kuure kenne, awwer wann er all der Gegreider genumme hett ass ich hab wie ich der Gickser ghatt hab, waer er dotgange lang eb er iss.

   Yaa, es hot yeders ebbes fer dankbaar sei. Der Parre Mohler is dankbaar ass er sei Luh grickt hot alle Vaddel Yaahr, un die Leit sin dankbaar ass sie en Parre hen ass es Effengelium recht ausleege kann. Der Hollerheck iss dankbaar ass er en guder Handel ghatt hot iwwer es letscht Yaahr.

   Der Meik Bixel iss dankbaar ass er net gfange iss warre wie ere m Saem Sieschols sei Seidefleesch gschtole hot, un der Tschecky Hanneyarrick iss dankbaar ass sei Schwaer zwee Bletz ge-eegent hot. Die Palli iss dankbaar ass sie noch ihre Gottlieb hot, un ich bin dankbaar ass ich noch mei Palli hab.

   Sie saage die Welt watt besser, awwer ich glaab net ass Dankgewwe viel helft wann mer net als ebmols ebbes noochschiebt. Wann der alt Saemmi Sendepetzer heit in die Karrich kummt un beedt bis er umechdich watt, dan sei net verschrocke. Yuscht heb ihm’s Glingelseckel unnich die Naas, un er kummt widder zu.

   Ya, un nau iss es Zeit fer der alt Professer fer’s eenunzwansichschde Mol all eich liewe Leser widder en hallich Dankdaag winsche. Esst net zu viel (awwer gut) un drinkt net zu viel (awwer gut) un basst ass es Wasser net yuscht reikummt awwer aa rausgent.

Macht’s gut,
Der Alt Professer

Dear people:

We want to finish Boonastiel’s piece for Thanksgiving (or Prayer Day, or Thankssaying Day, as well as a few other such expressions in PG).

   As he was telling us last week, we shouldn’t always just take, for then one is like a pond that just takes in water but never lets water out. Then the water turns green and slimy and stinky. No one wants to be near such a pond.

But if one also gives, then one is like a pond (Boonastiel actually said “mountain water”) that takes in water but also lets it out again. That water is always fresh and full of fish.

   We now continue:

   But be that as it may, I have my health, and a jigger from the black bottle makes me feel as Jay Gould used to, who said he would give a million dollars if he could cure his neuralgia. (Jason Gould, 1832-1896, was an American financier.) There are hundreds of old woman here on the mountain who think they could have cured him but if he had taken all the herbs that I took when I had the hiccoughs, he would have died long before I did.

   Yeah, everyone has something to be thankful for. Pastor Mohler is thankful that they have a pastor who can explain the Gospel correctly. Hollerheck (local bar owner) is thankful that he had a good business over the last year.

   Mike Bixel is thankful that he didn’t get caught when he stole Sam Siesholt’s bacon, and Jacky Hanneyork is thankful that his father-in-law owned two homes. Polly is thankful that she still has her Gottlieb (Boonastiel), and I am thankful that I still have my Polly.

   They say that the world is getting better, but I believe that giving thanks doesn’t help much if one doesn’t help much if one doesn’t give back something once in a while. If old Sammy Centpincher comes into church today and prays till he passes out, then don’t get scared. Just hold the collection plate (bag) under his nose and he’ll come to again.

   Yes, and now it is time for the old Professor for the twenty-first time to wish you dear readers a glorious Thanksgiving. Don’t eat too much (but eat well) and don’t drink to much (but drink well) and watch out that the water doesn’t just flow in but also flows out again.

Take care,
The Old Professor

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updated 3-15-2007 paf