PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

October 12, 2000

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Wie mer schunn wisse, hot der Hen scheins net die Kuraasche, die Selinde zu bosse wann er en roder Kolwe finnt. Der Jerry Kunkel gebt ihm noch en Glaas Ebbeljack; villeicht finnt er en roder Kolwe un aa die Kuraasche, die Selinde endlich zu bosse.

   Mer lese nau em Moll sei eegene Wadde:

   Der Hen hot der Ebbeljack gsoffe. Noh bettelt er sich noch en Tschaaduwck un schtoppt en ins Maul zum annere, bis sei Backe guckt ass wann er en Gewex im Gsicht hett. “Nau Selinde, geb acht, ich hab schunn zwansich Yaahr ken Weibsmensch gebosst, un die neegscht Gelegeheet dass ich grick verfehl ich net.”

   Des saagt er zu sich selwer wie er niwwer an der Schock geloffe iss wu sie am Baschde waar. Die Knecht hen eifrich die Schock umgerisse un drumrum gsucht, un wie die Selinde un der Hen der viert Ursach ausgfunne ferwas sie so eifrich waare. ‘S waare lauder rode Kolwe im ganse Schock.

   Der Hen finnt der aerscht un sie der neegscht. Wie der Hen der zwett abreisst, hebt er’n uff gege um Mond un saagt, “Guck mol do, Selinde.”

Sie schnaert ihn aa un gnarrt recht, “Halt dei Maul.”

   Alle Kolwe dass sie uffreisst iss en roder. Sie watt wie lenger wie beesser. Die annere Baschder heere un sehne des, un sie hetze der Hen so uff dass er zu sich selwert saagt, “Die mache ken Narr aus nir, der neegscht Kolwe watt die gebosst.”

   Un wie gsaat, so hot er geduh. Er schpringt uff, fast sie in sei Aarrem un bosst sie, dass die Duwacksbrieh schpritzt. Sie hot sich heslich gewehrt. Sie resist sich los un mit me groosse graad zum Gfress nei dass die Duwacksbrieh widder schpritzt un’s Blut ihm an der naas ablaaft.

   Was sie gsaat hot – well, ich deet besser net. Awwer ich glaab dass sie ihn gegrebbiert hett wann die annere sie net eweck genumme hedde. Wie er sich mol losreisse hot kenne iss er’s Feld nunner noch em Seidereil Fass. Die Selinde iss aus em Feld heem, so bees wie en Schpinn.

   Die annere Baschder hot des Ding gans gut gebasst. Es waar kens vun de zwee arrig willkumm. ‘S iss noch gsunge warre, Gschpass gemacht, e bissel gekarressiert, gesse un gedrunke, bis der letscht Kolwe uff em Wagge waar. Noh sin die Leit heem.

   Der Charl hot net verschteh kenne wu em Hi sei zwee Aposchdel hiekumme sin bis er gange iss fer’s Fass ufflaade fer heemnemme. Datt leie der Hen un der Bill beinanner, dot zu der Welt.

Macht’s gut,
Der Alt Professer

Dear People:

   As we already know, Hen seemingly doesn’t have the courage to kiss Selinde when he finds a red ear. Jerry Kunkel gives him another glass of applejack; perhaps he will find a red ear and also the courage finally to kiss Selinde.

   We’ll now read Moll’s own words:

   Hen drank the applejack. Then he begs for himself some more chewing tobacco and stuffs it into his mouth to the other, until his check looks as if he has a growth in his face. “Now, Selinde, take care (watch out), I haven’t kissed a woman in 20 years, and the next opportunity that I get, I won’t miss.”

   That’s when he says to himself as he walks over to the shock where she was husking. The farm hands were busily tearing down the shocks and looking around in them, and when Selinde and Hen got to the fourth shock in the row and were husking, one found out the reason why they were so busy. There were all red ears n the whole shock.

   Hen finds the first and she was the next. As Hen tears off the second, he raises it up toward the Moon and says, “Look here once, Selinde.”
She snarls at him and grunts, “Shut your mouth.”

   Every ear that she tears open is a red one. The longer it happens the madder she gets. The other huskers see this, and they strip up Hen so badly that he says to himself, “They’re not going to make a fool out of me, the next (red) ear and she gets kissed.”

   And as he said, so he did. He jumps up, grabs her in his arms and kisses her so hard that the tobacco juice squirts out. She defended herself terribly. She tears herself loose, and with a big ear sho goes after him. She hits the ear right into his face so that the tobacco juice squirts out again and the blood runs from his nose.

What she says – well, I had better not (say). But I believe that she would have killed him if the others had not taken her away. When he once could tear himself away, he went downt the field toward the cider barrel. Selinde went out of the field and home, as angry as a spider.

   The other huskers liked these going-on very much. Neither of the two was very welcome. They sang some more, had fun, courted a little, ate and drank, until the last ear was on the wagon. Then the people went home.

   Charl could not understand where Hi’s two “apostles” had gotten to until he went to load up the barrel to take it home. There lay Hen and Bill together, dead to the world.

Take care,
The Old Professor

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